Sink or Swim

What a great day!
So full. So fulfilling. Tian is at preschool in the morning so I can spend some chill time with Lina. Watch girly shows like Sarah's House and Design Inc. I like learning about dccorating. Plus the reveals are so awesome. It makes folding and sorting laundry a whole lot more interesting. That's my thing these days. Trying to make things I dread (but must be done) into something I actually enjoy and look forward to.
Like exercise. Those classes at the gym, although effective physically (I sweat and get an endorphin high from) makes me so bored. The thought of lifting a metal rod with more and heavier doughnuts on it is so awful to me. Pole dancing is so fun, but too expensive and out of the way right now. Maybe when the kids leave home. HA!
Tried zumba too but it was too fast. Yoga too slow. I'm not giving up though. I think there HAS to be something active AND enjoyable for each and every person out there. God says it's good to exercise. A wise woman strengthens her arms and is strong. Also, an unwise woman would just give up here and resign to eat herself fat. OR except that exercise is torture and just do the dreaded gym thing OR don't eat. I've tried all of these and they're temporary, you hate yourself and your body and well, it's just plain stupid.
So here goes swimming tomorrow. Hope it works out. I really need this.
ps. bikinis are ridiculous. swimdresses are supercute.

So I went to Value Village last night looking for those stiletto heels for my dance class this Saturday. I changed my mind. I bought a robe instead. Why? because I can just find heels if it's just for one dance class. I didn't want to buy something I wouldn't wear very often. I don't want to do that anymore. So I bought a robe because every morning I dread getting up. The robe helps the transition until I can make something to eat and drink. After that I'm good.

Anyways while driving to Value Village the mind wanders to all the things I want/think I need. Ever notice how the mind wanders and justifies new things. All the time. Not just clothes. Electronics. Things for yourself, your place. Things. Always things to consume. Is this what life is? A constant relentless chase for the next thing? Until you get it and move on to something else? How crazy. And meaningless.
So instead of trying to remember all the fashion rules for a petitie warm skin toned girl with wide hips. Trust me there's alot for all the above mentioned categories I'm in. "Skirts have to be short so you don't look stumpy". "Colours must be jewel toned or you'll look washed out. " etc. So what if the one how created me knew me best? What if God had fashion rules to help a confused girl like me out? What does He say about clothes and what I should wear? Because I'm so sick and tired or getting rid of clothes only to buy new clothes that I thought were perfect at the moment. I did some research and here's what I came up with and how I will see them.

God's rules on fashion.
1. Don't worry about fashion.
2. Look like a woman.
3. Don't wear mixed fibres.

Here's my take on the above.
1. I will follow noone's "rules" on fashion. I will wear what I like. To me that is something I can move comfortably in without always pulling and tugging, sucking my tummy in or wear a camisole to fill in the gaping neckline. It does not itch. It covers my butt and crotch so I don't have to worry about underwear lines or reaching up and showing midriff. It has sleeves. It looks like this.

I wear it with skinny jeans or leggings. That's it. No cardigan. No camisole. No layering. I hate layering. I love the idea of just grabbing a jacket and heading out the door. I love the idea of a closet full of these t shirt dresses. I love the idea of not having to worry or think about fashion all the time. I'm ready to do tone my body instead of finding ways to make it "look" toned.

2. Look like a woman.
 Physically: Woman are form. Men are functional. Both beautiful and important but different. God made us this way. I feel much more beautiful in a dress than pants. They are also so easy and comfortable too. I'm going to go for this.

3. Don't wear mixed fibres.
My daughter gets a rash when she wears polyester. I got rid of all my polyester stuff for her and my skin got better too. What if I only wear natural materials. Cotton, linen, wool, cashmere, silk. Wearing mixed fibres I think has to do with mixing things that have different properties. Cotton absorbs water. Linen repels it. A linen and cotton shirt may not repel or absorb sweat and moisture the way it should. Also I think natural fibres let your skin "breath". The robe I bought last night was 100% cotton. Be careful. Most fuzzy robes may look soft  but they are made of polyester. Polyester melts easily onto your skin when near heat. Trust me it's gross. Also polyester "pills". I hate clothes that pill. Cotton gets softer with time. Buy timeless clothes. New question I ask myself now is. Will I wear this for life?
 Better than before. I used to just ask myself. Can I afford it? That's how you stay out of debt but accumulate junk and a closet you hate like me. I really want to be free from this. It feels like a prison. One that I made. Maybe God will help free me.

to do: buy stilettos. it's for science

So my next pole dance workshop is this Saturday. It's a workshop on how to dance in heels. So fun right?! I am loving this new journey I am going on to find my inner "woman". So I am breaking my no shopping ban and going thrifting to get me some shoes that are totally not "sensible" for my class. It's all in the name of fitness. And being fit is very important and a serious business you know.  Just like science.
There is another class after on the "proper" way to strip. hmmm. I might take that too. Should I? Who really strips for their husband anyways? I would just feel like a dork and laugh half way through it. (not the sexy naughty giggle either just har har snort snort kind) Guess that's what the class is for....

do WHAT with a pole???

So I did it!! New Year's Resolution #1 down. I finally took a pole dancing classes after thinking about it for months on end. I sucked at it. I honestly thought I would just prance in there and do a sexy little number. How hard can it be? Strippers do it. They're not very bright/great. OH MY. If you are a stripper, please I beg your forgiveness. If you're not. Stand in awe of the next one you run into. I know this happens everyday for us stay at home moms right?
Anyways, this class really kicked my flabby butt! and I want more. Why? because it's like yoga, dance, pilates, gymnastics into one. But way more fun. I've never been told to stick my butt and boobs out by an instructor so many times. Be proud of your curves, she said. I am just still spinning from the feeling of doing something so fun just for me, that's NOT shopping. It's been awhile. I don't want to shop when I'm depressed. It just makes me more depressed. I want to dance!!

Pole dancing. dirty? Nope.
Pole dancing. Fun. Flying. Free. Free to be a beautiful woman. Here I go.

I don't like...

This is my rant about all things I don't like before, during or after that I buy when I go thrifting. The long black evening gown because the label was Tahari. I don't even know what Tahari is other than I heard some girl gush about it on her fashion blog. I don't like black. It's depressing to wear from head to toe. I don't like how I went in for a cream sweater and bought a black gown.
I don't like how I buy skirts even though I don't like the feeling of anything tight around my waist or hips. I don't like having to find a top to match that skirt when a dress would have done the trick. 
I don't like having to match all these colors in my wardrobe when my favorite color is cream. I don't like how every top that fits always comes with the "if only it was in cream" thought in my head before I end up buying it anyways. I don't like reading about the new coral color trend for this spring and knowing I look ridiculous in orange with my yellow skin tone. What if I get bored with only cream? Do I buy a coral ring for funzies?
Why is it that we have so much stuff in our closets and nothing to wear. Why do we have to put "outfits" together every morning? I know it's fun once in awhile but I kind of want to do other things with my life than google fashion ideas that go with polka dots. How do you balance having fun and celebrating your inner "girl" without obsessing about it all day.
For this 30 for 30 challenge. I had lots of dark pieces picked out so they would go together but I am changing it up. Here's the crazy idea. I am going to wear only what I LIKE. cream tops and jeans for daywear. Maxi dresses for home. sleeved dresses for church (I don't like the whole business of shrugs and cardigans for dresses, if you're cold, keep your coat on). Fun rings.  Simple. This is what I have been doing but feeling guilty every time I reach for the same thing and neglect the other pieces in my closet.
Wear what you like. Buy what you wear. Easy right?

Oh my goodness. After 28 years, I think I finally have arrived. Who knew that you only had to stay true to yourself. Sometimes sitting and thinking about the things you wore to death and felt "you" in is better than googling "boyfriend blazer outfit". Be careful reading other fashion blogs. It just may confuse instead of inspire you. Mine included.

Outfit 1

Pale pink Gap thifted dress ($6), olive long cardigan ($4)
no shoes, no jewellery, no hair done or makeup either. today
I'm at home with the kids today. The outfit HAS to be comfortable for me AND kids. No heels or sequins. Babies don't like a face full of sequins or chunky diamonds when cuddling. At least not mine. I don't know about babies born to Vegas showgirls.

30 for 30

30 pieces. 30 ways. Inspired by Kendi and Tara.
no shopping for this month.

Promised hubby I wouldn't shop. This money will go towards better things. iphone and pole dancing workshop and maybe nanny.


I want to take pictures of each piece. I may or may not do this. I should. Stay tuned.

UPDATE: I tried doing this last night and failed. The obstacles were just too much. Every time I tried to take a picture, there was a random child popping up in picture/pulling on my leg/trying on the other clothing pieces waiting to be photographed. Usually when I start hating kids I call it a day on a project. Nobody wants to be crazy like that. And plus they're actually pretty nice people. I would hang out with them. by choice. they have to hang out with me. no choice there. I feed them. and plus they are unemployed. My kids are 1 and 2 years old.